Last Updated: 30th January, 2019

Valentine's Day Jokes

Funny Valentine's Day Cards
    

Q: What do Farmers Give their wives on Valentine's Day?
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A:Hogs and Kisses!

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Q: What is the relation between a pencil and paper?
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A:The pencil dots on the paper.

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Q: What would you get it you crossed Odie with the God of love?
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A: A stupid cupid!

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Q: Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
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A: Sure, they're very scent-imental!

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Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
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A: You turn me on.

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Q: What did the fish say to his beloved?
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A:Let's swim together

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Q: What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?
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A: A hug and a quiche!

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Q: What did ketchup say to his girlfriend?
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A:At times you are sweet, at times sour.

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Q: What did the pickle say to its beloved?
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A:You are so spicy.

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Q: What if you are single on Valentine's Day?
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A:Just enjoy your independence

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Q: What did the bat say to his sweet heart?
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A:Let's have a great time, bat woman.

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Q: What did one snake say to the other snake?
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A:Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.

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Q: What's the best part about Valentines Day?
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A:The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.

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Q: What do you call two birds in love?
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A:Tweethearts!

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Q: What did one boat say to the other?
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A:Are you up for a little row-mance?

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Q: What did the guy with the broken leg say to his nurse?
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A:I've got a crutch on you.

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Q: What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
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A:I'm sweet on you!

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Q: Do you have a date for valentines day?
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A:Yes, February 14th

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Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?
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A: I'm stuck on you!

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Q: What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine's Day?
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A:I'm nuts about you!

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Q: What is a vampire's sweetheart called?
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A: His ghoul-friend.

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Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
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A: Because it couldn't get a date.

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Q: What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
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A: I find you very attractive.

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Q: What did the pencil say to the paper?
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A: I dot my i's on you!

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Q: What did one pickle say to the other?
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A: You mean a great dill to me.

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Q: What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
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A: Ughs and kisses!

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Q: What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine's Day?
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A: I Love Ewe

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Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?
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A:I'm stuck on you!

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Q: What is the difference between a calendar and you?
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A: A calendar has a date on Valentine's day.

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Q: Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
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A: It was Valenswine's Day!

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Q: What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine's Day?
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A: Owl be yours!

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Q: What do you call a very small Valentine?
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A: A Valentiny!

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Tom: What did one magnet say to the other magnet on Valentine's Day?
Finn: I have no idea. What?
Tom: “I find you very attractive!

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Tom: What happened to your leg?
Matt: I went to a seafood dance on Valentine's Day.
Tom: And?
Matt: I pulled a mussel!

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Ben: Why do melons have to get married in churches?
Finn: Why?
Ben: Because they cantaloupe!

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John: What did the boy candy say to the girl candy?
Ben: I haven't a clue.
John: It's Valentine's Day and we're mint for each other.

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What is another way of saying Happy Valentines day! S.A.D, Singles Awareness Day!



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